The life lesson keeps showing up of learning how to receive and ask for help for myself as I am willing to give to others. This past week a family friend gave me a very generous financial gift. She knew my ability to work has been impacted by the COVID pandemic and by helping my parents.
It took me by surprise and my first reaction was that I could not accept such a huge gift. Then I stopped and my inner voice asked, “Why not?” This family friend was an adult capable of making financial decisions and gave this gift to me freely. It was her choice to help me. How would I feel if I was in the reverse place in wanting to give and having it rejected? I talked it over with the family friend, discussed my feelings about being unsure about the gift, and ended with thanking her for her generosity. She was happy and joyful about helping me.
There is part of me that feels uncomfortable about accepting it but I am aware it comes from how I was taught about giving and receiving. When I had learned the “Golden Rule” of treating others as you wish to be treated as a kid, the lessons focused on how to give to others. I got really good at giving and forgot about the receiving.
Many times I was disappointed or let down by people who I thought would be there for me only to have them not show up or be a reluctant helper. Over time I can see how I moved farther away from asking or expecting help from anyone. You can not be disappointed in people if you have low expectations of their support.
In meditation over giving and receiving, I created the sketch “I Receive What I Want to Give” and “I Give What I Want to Receive” as garden scenes. The flow of giving and receiving should be like a balanced garden where sunshine, rain, flowers, or insects all have a balance with each other.
The golden rule is about harmony. The dashed lines in the art are meant to capture the harmony of the flow between spirit and mind. I drew the “i” with a heart as a tribute to your inner spirit and the “I’ as the outward thinking mind or ego.
Giving to others with love means being able to also receive with love. When you are in a caregiver role, it is easy to put others first and yourself last. Taking care of yourself is not just only self-care but allowing others to help you even when you do think you need “turtle help” ?.
I read this to my family friend prior to sharing it. She shared she had one correction for me in that she was not giving to me for any financial reason. The reason she did it was 100% because she loves me.
Yours in Gratitude,
Laurel Latto
DonnaBellas Angels Artist and Founder
